An illustration of Megan's feelings. (this is, in fact, at 800x600, so if anyone with that screen resolution needs a new desktop wallpaper, well, far be it from me to bar you from using that).
I have been trying to design layout graphics and then gearing up to code the layout which my friend Jesse requested (that was some bad grammar. Argh). It has me so utterly frustrated. Tearing my hair out and crying because I can't get this right, I am not quite sure how to do it, and I really don't think my skills are up to coding layouts for actual websites. My speciality is diary layouts. Its a hobby. Not my career or something.
But then again, as much as I'd like to, my pride prohibits me from dropping this project and having him find someone else to do this. Its way too late in the project. I am obligated to finish this. It isn't a choice anymore. Anyway, I always seem to entangle my services in big projects like this, then find myself not up to it, and unable to do anything. So I procrastinate, and cry, and stress out, and nearly have a nervous breakdown until I am forced to drop out last minute and the person has to pick up the pieces of my shattered mess and slap it together in time.
Its such a bad aspect of my nature. This procrastination and such. I am ashamed of myself. But sitting around and crying and feeling sorry for myself is not going to solve a thing. I have to steel myself against this project and plunge forward. I must conquer. I am obligated to. I shall. This time, I shall. Even if I practically kill myself in the process. It feels like I should, between all of this stress and torment I am placing upon myself, but I must bear it. I have committed myself, and I must learn to follow through. I will. This time, I will.
*runs off to go pull out some more hair and maybe see about blowing some things up while she jumps and screams*
someone has problems handling stress....
