Today, I found out that one of my little sisters was sick.
And has been for the past couple days.
Where the heck have I been?
Who knows.
I certainly don't.
My whole day has been a mental abberation of that kind. And no, I don't mean that I had a rapid succession of blonde moments, I mean that the whole day was just a long utter blankness of mind. I'm stuck in a thick, groggy dream. A kaleidoscope of the day's events shift before my sight like the strange scents of a scarcely remembered dream come morning. I have to remind myself that those hazy pictures of my sister and I pacing on the porch together with a book in the cloudy morning was not a scene from a pleasant dream, but an actual reality of today. I took a quiz today...it wasn't yesterday, and it wasn't imagined. It really happened.
But nothing feels like it did. Everything feels like a creation of my imagination and subconscious.
I think when I slipped out of eternity last night, I forgot to slip back in and got stuck somewhere in limbo. A boring, uninspired, unmotivated, ugly, hellish limbo. I woke up too much last night. I can't even say how much... what happened last night... I'll leave the sacredness in it's cool, dark, holy place in my memory. Feeling Him so strongly after being so dry so long... I think it just exhausted me. It drained every tiny bit of strength I had left, and at the same time as it completely healed and restored me, it left me ...empty? I can't explain. But my efforts have exhausted me, and now that some of my burderns are lifted to some degree, I need rest. An enormous amount of long desired rest...
Post Script: Considering a new blog. Check it out. No template yet. Writing there and posting it here... we'll see what comes about...