2004-10-05
I'm An Emo Posuer. Cause It's What All The Cool Kids Are

hearing: nothing
reading: In The Days of The Comet by H.G. Wells
feeling: slightly overwhelmed...I have entirely too much on my mind to discuss it all...

I have had the most astonishing offer made to me. A friend who had treated me ill, and whom I treated ill in return, wishes to return.

I have erased all traces of him from my diary, so it will be no good to go looking for him, but for those who remember, it is That Boy again.

He has heard of my trouble and offers his hand to help me.

God knows how much I need help. How much I want help. But...I've read the boy's xanga...and it's just another tangled life to latch onto mine. Everyone, including myself, is so tangled and weary and troubled right now. Do I need another person in such a position? But he obviously is not coming to get support from me, but to give support to me.

I am considering now the wisdom and prudence of allowing him back...

Would he be better this time? Will he restrain himself? Will he be truely a friend and nothing more?

I am afraid. I am sorely afraid. I am bruised and fragile enough. If I risk this, and he acts as he has before...

Mary will assure me he won't. Mary esteems him so highly.

But I'm not so sure. I am daunted. I am fearful.

I can only pray...Pray and think this over long. Consider the consequences of either decision.

Although if I know myself, and if anyone knows me, they know how soft I am...

How ready I am to immediately invite him back...

Think it over first. Think it over.

Even more alarming: Apparently my sister has a boy she talks to on msnm, whom is the sole reason she gets on and chats on msnm. And, as reported straight from her mouth to my brother, she writes about him in her diary.


I'm worried. Am I justified in worrying?

This seems incredibly appropriate for this entry:

Wow you are so emo.


Are you emo?
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Har har.

before & & after



2004-10-05
Cause Heaven Ain't Close In A Place Like This

hearing: 21st Century Darlings - Kevin Max
reading: In The Days of The Comet by H.G. Wells
feeling: A good tired

List time! I couldn't help it. Poor underlying emotions make for vain searches for filler activites and spirtual chocolate (since there is hardly any real chocolate in our house. I feel so gypped). So then I get long lists of pleasant, mood lifters compiled and...it's what's on my mind...I cannot help, but rave...So without further ado

Things Which Megan Adores Lately

  1. Somebody Told Me from The Killers

  2. Tame from The Pixies (I am ridiculously addicted to that song)

  3. Mercora which lets me easily compile playlists of protected wmas (which, being protected, I can�t convert to itunes format) and mp3s

  4. So that I have a continuous stream of music while I exercise (aka: do a million and three abdomen muscle building exercises)

  5. In The Days of the Comet by H.G. Wells

  6. Homemade guacamole. Extremely delicious.

  7. Window blinds so I can dance run around in my room without pants on without fear of being seen

  8. The massage feature on my hospital bed� OH MAN IT'S THE GREATEST. Heaven. Sheer heaven. My kitten seems to love it too�

  9. My American Government Political Science class so that I will not be an apathetic puppet of government� not that I want to start having political debates and discussions, and not that that statement is supposed to imply that I�m becoming an extremist ideological liberal college stereotype kid�just that it doesn�t make me blow steam out of my ears anymore to deal with government�Silly ignorance. I actually understand things now! What a concept! bahaha

  10. My darling kitten whom always cheers and comforts me

  11. Jeffrey Fulvimari

  12. Adorable fall purses from aforementioned artist on clearance for $6 (admittedly from last year but�SO?)

  13. Rainy, cloudy weather!!!!

  14. My younger sister�s adoration of my extremely juvenile, crappy oil paintings

  15. Finger painting with oils

  16. Success in recent dolling attempts

  17. Watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks with my sister and singing along with ALL the songs�not that I like that movie, but it was a fun experience�

  18. Being tired when I go to bed




Postscript: There was a change in contact methods. To contact me now, just click on the contact link in the upper right hand corner, and a small pop up window should open with the email, tag, note, and g-book links, plus the notify list sign up. There was some confusion about this and where contact methods went. Well, please don't be confused anymore. The abundance of contact methods was too overwhelming for this template. I needed to condense and hide it. A pop up seemed like a better idea than a diary entry page. If you have any complaints or protestations, feel free to make them, although I highly doubt that I will be able (and/or willing) to fix much.

before & & after