2004-06-26
Trying To Whisper

hearing: Kiss Me One Last Line - Blueprint Car Crash (<3 my lovely crashing almost screamo scares the children <3)
reading: Middlemarch by George Eliot
wearing: lots of red. and some white. and some jeans. and some red pen drawing on shoulder.

I have always been a creature prone to violent fits and heavy surges of emotion. I am rather used to feeling a lot. I have even been rather good at empathizing very strongly and almost feeling exactly those feelings which might not otherwise cross my life's path. At least, not for a long while yet.

In short, I have always been an extremely impassioned soul. Great strength of emotion is no stranger to me.

But this feeling. This is so much more than much I have felt. This is so new and strange and unfamiliar. So strong. It's overpowering. Nothing I have ever felt before can compare to this.

It knocks me off of my feet and onto the floor. It blurs my vision [with tears], sends the world spinning violently, ties my tongue in a million knots, flips my stomach upside down and makes me sick. It just...it siezes this soul with a passion heretofore unknown.

I have to quit the transcription here. I can't go on. Not anymore than I could yesterday. I shouldn't be saying any of this. I hardly dare think what I must sound like. I fear misinterpration greatly.

My eyelids are heavy with sleep. Sooner now shall I go sleep.

before & & after