All my creativity has shifted from my writing to my art...urm...pixel dolling. Shift. The one occupies my mind so much, that it leaves no room for the other.
AH HA! That was such an enormous epiphany. It made me to realize, that the reason my dolling muse has been so low, is because my writing has been somewhat high octane lately. Not near its best, but its really been sucking my brain and creativity levels. I only had room to focus on my writing. And not on my dolling.
I couldn't shift, because I was in low spirits. When I am in low spirits, I need ways to vent and relay them to others. I cannot do that through dolling. Only my writing reaches those fever pitches of ability to realize my servilty.
I really like to have epiphanies like that. I must always have everything explained and figured out.
Which leads me to reflect on a sudden humongous burst of appetite. I can eat almost four full meals including snacks in a day. It's really amazing after my recent, long held inability to eat more than two meals a day without any snacks. And even before that decrease in appetite hit, my normal appetite hasn't been this large in a very long while.
I have a hunch though what it is. Vague, grasping and hopeful as it is, I still think I might be able to pinpoint this.
My mother, from the time I stopped growing when I was around fourteen, told me that she, and my paternal grandmother, had had rather large growth spurts around their eighteenth birthdays. They each gained several inches during these. She told me, that it was very probably, almost certain, that I too would have a growth spurt around my eighteenth.
And my eighteenth is catching close. I have been yearning for that growth spurt, for although already taller than my mother and grandmother ever were when they were my age, I still feel painfully short, and do long for just a couple more inches added to my height. Perhaps now, finally, it's coming.
And honestly, appetite isn't the only change. To base this surmise on appetite only would be absurd. Nay, there have been other signs. Strange aches I have not felt in so many long years. Centering in such as the knees... Growing pains? Possibly...hopefully...
I won't start jumping up and down screaming wildly for wanting those last few inches. I won't start jumping up and down wildly for wanting those last few inches. I won't start...
I'll be quiet now.
And maybe I have been grasping at straws with this one. But dang, I hate being kinda short. No, I hate not being tall is what it is. Haha...
ANYWAY, back to the subject of dolling:
I've made another one of my grand dolling style evolutions which has transformed me into an even better doller than I was last night. Cool. I used to wonder if I'd ever get better...I used to be afraid that I lacked the art talent to keep progressing in my dolls. I can't draw well to save my life...I suck. Immensely. I mean, my lack of art talent means I am completely unable to create anything close to a passable base. I keep trying to do fully original pixel art...even just a nice head with a pretty face and I can't do it. Darn it.
Actually, its probably my own fault for never practicing. I just get so frustrated with the poor quality of my work... That's no excuse.
My goal for tonight: Create some beautiful pixel art for my deviant art display picture. Yeah. Riiiight.
Time to make my exit...
HEY! SONG!
I am taking my exit now
Yeah I am making my exit now
And I'm not sure where I'll be...
YOU'RE SO BIITTTERRRRRRR
Oh my. I'll just quickly shut my mouth now.
Yes, I think I have had far far far too much sugar this evening.
Today's anonymous, ambiguous comment: I need stamps for mailing random letters.