2004-09-06
Spastic Musings of a Troubled, Wandering Mind
hearing: nothing
reading: nothing
feeling: physically: cold and tired. It's odd though isn't it? When I write with eyes which cannot decide whether they are crying, laughing, smiling or sneering...
If only I were a little more patient, I would find that I can easily think up things to write about.
A quick glimmer of epiphany twinkles across your brow. Sliding away before you can grasp it, but in the split second, those split seconds of realization few and far between, you know an essential.
You can�t ever really know how something feels, until you feel it.
No matter how empathetic you are, no matter how well your imagination works, you won�t ever really know it until it comes.
So imagine all you want, but those are mere shadows. They will never prepare you for when it really happens�when you really feel it.
I think there is a certain type of nature in some people, which automatically gives other individuals more credit than they are worth. A tolerant, excusing, generous, understanding, meek, almost ass-kissing (but not so gross and repulsive) type of individual, to some degree or other, who bends a little in submission of everyone else, ready to assume that the other knows all. Not is wise or knows best, but at least knows all. Everything. Maybe is wise, maybe knows best, or at least, better than oneself.
I am that type, of a more extreme degree, but I�m not thinking of myself� I�m not really thinking of the individual either. I am thinking about the credit being given and who the credit is being given to and how deserved that credit is. Too much and undeserving is my conclusion.
Ok no I�m probably wrong (about the concept, the last bit there, I still think was right). But�it was almost a nice thought while it lasted. It sounded profound at least�
On an entirely different train of thought:
Really painfully beautiful when you don't think about it...It's like being stabbed to death in the thorns of your rose bush (no allusions intended). It's nearly an irony...No, it is an irony.