Just when the relief I have been aching for, for almost four years is in sight, and soon to reach my grasp; I lose my ache and longing for it. I have been alone just the right amount of time to complete the total transformation into a chronically introverted hermit. To be ripped out of my shell now and thrown back into the companionship of humans my age is not going to be a welcome relief, it is going to be a painful intrusion of annoyances into my contented, solitary existence.
Why couldn't this kind of reconciliation to situations have come a whole lot earlier? When it might have actually been useful in getting through my destitute days? Now it only serves to intensely increase the awful dread of returning to school with a lot of other people.
Perhaps my reconciliation comes in the eleventh hour because I am finally learning to appreciate the solitude I have now, since at long last, it will be taken from me?