The heat... the heat mingles with all else, and it weighs down like a heavy blanket. The humidity and the restlessness converge to create a maddeningly oppressive prison which is unescapable.
Where shall I run? What shall save me? From this despair...from this despondency. Crushing. Drowning. Suffocating.
Can't sleep at night...can't eat or concentrate in the day... Oh so sick of all of it. Will madness take me? Won't it take me?
Everything's been wrong for so long. I'm so wrong. Barely worthy of existence...scarcely worthy. One must simply continue to pick oneself up and keep going.
It becomes such a tiring cycle. A never ending cycle. I am stuck. I will be stuck for so many many years ahead of me...
That's why hope is never quite mine for this life. It's nothing more than a tiring, never ending cycle...
Hope lies in one light...
I can't stand this.
death or madness
death or madness
DEATH OR MADNESS
TAKE ME
I'm going outside now. Perhaps there, it will be cool. Perhaps there, the fresh green of the grass, will be icy and sweet. And I can lie and regain my sanity, my mind, my coherence, my sense, and my focus. I really don't know what this was all about. My mind is in an insanely complicated upheaval of contradiction and confusion.