2004-12-23
The Beginning, The Middle, And Through To The End...

I started the day with breakfast on the floor. I settled myself cross-legged on the rug before our sliding glass door with my meal and my ipod. I had a quiet, thoughtful soliloquy as I ate, and decided as I stared at the glistening fresh fallen snow outside, that I would go out and romp in it.

I slowly finished my breakfast and tumbled and stumbled through the motions of getting ready to go outside. All bundled up, I stepped out the door and stood in front of it for a moment just staring and breathing. Watching the clouds puff from my lips as I blew air and song snippets into the icy atmosphere. Then I precariously hobbled down the steps and cleared myself a spot in the grass to sit down in. But the grass was still wet so I couldn�t sit. I didn�t really want to stand in one place though and I hated to run around and spoil all the fresh snow.

Snow is such a confusing thing. I don�t know what to do in it. I don�t know what to do with myself in it. It�s rather pretty so I hate to spoil it and smash it down. But it gets rather tiring standing in one place staring. My legs get cramped. I went and sat in the dry rocks under our deck for awhile. And then I sat in the dry chair under our deck for awhile. And then I got restless and went inside.

Snow is just too much of a mystery to me.

somewhere in the middle�

A half smile was all I could manage. And I couldn�t hide the sorrow from my eyes. I shook my hair into my face in a desperate attempt to conceal them, until I realized you couldn�t see. You didn�t see my averted gaze or the melancholy shadow �cross my face. I sighed with discontent but you didn�t hear that either.

I feel so dumb, and you so blind and deaf. It isn�t anyone�s fault though.

I only wish I had words for the slight trouble criss-crossing my knitted brow. I don�t though. I suppose that that means it�s nothing more than a fabrication.

I ended today with a viewing of ROTK: EE. My parents bought it for me today and oh the spasmodic shock of delight that seized my face when I saw it lying beside me on the kitchen counter where I was doing dishes. Of course I had to watch it tonight, even if it meant it�d be playing late into the night. I�m up far too late all the time anyway.

Now usually, when I watch a Lord of the Rings movie I demand utter stillness and utter silence. The movies put me under a deep, binding spell, and I get lost in the world of Middle Earth.

Blame it on the Dr. Pepper (caffeine free at that) which I drank this evening or the hostess cupcake, but this time I was unaccountably distracted. My sister and I had at least three bust a gut, rolling on the floor laughing fits during the entire movie and we had quite a running commentary going the entire time. I gave lots of Middle-Earth history lessons throughout the movie.

But the laughing fits, the laughing fits� Laughing fit number one was at the very beginning of the movie. The bass on our surround sound was turned up far too high and my sister nor did my brother nor did I know how to turn it down. My sister and I sent my brother as emissary to my father to have him fix it. My brother paused it before he left, and happened to pause the movie when Sam was removing something from his bag. Well, his middle finger was the only finger sticking out� Rollicking hilarity. It was priceless. Laughing fit number two was brought on near the end when we caught a glimpse of the ridiculous looking pass for Glorfindel. Gosh. Just his mere pathetic-ness had us in stitches. We rewound and paused the movie several times to get a solid look at him. Our last laughing fit was about the garbled echo our subwoofer was putting out.

There was more good cheer�something surrounding Elrond�s corsets I�m sure. But the aforementioned laughing bouts were the highlights of our viewing.

I did, besides, almost fall asleep several times near the end of the movie. I was, and still am, so very tired.

So very tired�

before & & after