I got another review in! Check the reviews page... And backblog appears to be down. I am terribly sorry about that. I guess just email me instead if you have anything to say. I do, after all, have two email addresses.
I didn't want to begin to think about writing. I am thrust into such a dark pit of depression. I am not sure what over either. I absolutely despise inexplicable feelings. Its utter nonsense and I feel utterly, ridiculously, stupidly, absurd and dramatic. Always.
That's why I hide from people. I go through this over and over, and so much that I fear that everyone is sick of me. Not here, in my diary so much, but in conversations. In one on one with other people. I can't help but feel they must find my bouts of angsty, senseless depression sickeningly monotonous and annoying.
And I don't say any of this for pity. I do not want pity. I am just stating what I feel. If that evicts pity from you, then it does, but I would rather it not, and I try to write so that it won't...
But then I feel like going on still. All I do is sleep. My depression pushes me to hypersomnia. Its just easier to sleep and sleep. The sleep is deep and dreamless, a welcome relief from the vast and unfathomable depression. Its a welcome relief from the pain of eating. I thought I ate better today, and indeed, I think I did, but this depression is affecting my body negatively and I am still oh so nauseous.
I am just so sick, and so cold and depressed.
Because death is not an option (oh that it was...I have considered all day all the different ways...knife to breast would be my choice) sleep and tears are my only indulgence and comfort. Sleep and tears are my silent solace.