It's like a nightmare...But when I tried to wake up, I discovered that the nightmare was real...
I feel so terrible. Physically. And emotionally.
Dizzy and nauseous from not eating enough. Yet I am to the point, that when I eat, it just upsets my stomach more. I don't know how much longer I can hold down the little bit of food in my stomach. I don't want to eat anyway. Not from any image problems, nay, rather from depression.
I don't want to sleep either. I am not tired and sleep brings no comfort. Sleep is just a restless succession of feverish dreams and fantasies. It is almost more torture than wakefulness.
I just want to curl up and sob. Draw away from everything and cry my eyes out. Its all I have left.
I hate to say this. I hate to tell people. I hate to talk about it because its so absurd. I am just a whiney burden. Always whining about how bad she feels when there is hardly anything for her to whine about. Oh how people must tire of me. Thus I do not whine, I sit silent. Yet then I am sure I bore them. Drawing away altogether is more effective.
I turned my cell phone back on, whether I was supposed to or not.
Let me calm down. I need to calm down...
(diaryland is messing up and I am trying to fix this so sorry about the double posts)