2005-03-21
Onward Ho!

I'm living in a dead stupor. Every breath I take, every waking moment I move, I only take and move how and where I do because I must. I must do this. I must do that. I must stay here. I must stay awake.

I must. I must. I must do things I want not to do.

I don't mind it so much. I try not to mind it. And I don't mean to complain.

But I'm just so tired. I'm so stretched. I'm a bit happy again, but I ache for rest. Not this constant movement.

But if it were up to me, would I ever get anywhere in life? Maybe it's better that circumstances outside myself continue pushing me forward. They force me to find my motivation... to gain something...

before & & after