Free from the heavy scents, yelling, and air thick with red and green, I slowly inhale the crystal fresh air blowing cold with the wind. I wend my cautious way to the edge of our trampoline where I find a seat to rest.
I hang my legs off the trampoline and fold my ankles together tightly and swing my long legs back and forth. The wind bites me and chases the freezing air up the hems of my jeans and onto my bare legs underneath. The wind sneaks into my zipped jacket and chills my naked stomach. She turns her light breeze to jostle and play with my cold, ever so slightly damp hair, and blow it in my face and a few golden strands across my vision. She is trying to chase me inside.
But I will not go. I sit firmly. Shivering and chattering, my cheeks surely turning to the pink blush of a rose under the icy air but little do I care.
I stare eastward. My whole frame strains to the east. My eyes strive to bore a hole in the impenetrable horizon so I can catch a glimpse of what I'm looking for. Nothing, nothing can I see, but still, sitting at the edge of my lawn, I am that much physically closer to you. My heart beats wildly at the thought. There are still thousands of footsteps between us, but I have taken at least several nearer. My feet grow impatient and wistful and I drop from my perch to the edge of our white fence. I lean against it. Straining eastward. My heart beating unsteadily as a tear courses down my cheek. I move to step over the fence, but I cannot allow my feet to rule me. They would carry me away in a swift line eastward.
I have learned to be more patient than that. It is too sensible and moral to be really romantic or sentimental I suppose, but the road I have walked with you has taught me patience. I will wait a year and a day if I must for whatever good things will come to me. I will not let my impatient feet carry my beating heart across the miles without warning as they almost did today. I can wait. As long as I know it is coming in good time, I can wait for when our time comes.
I push against the fence once more and sigh. I brush my fingertips across my lips and toss out my hand gently with a slight breath across my upturned palm. A whisper and another sigh. I turn back to my house, turning back once to gaze again.
I was that much closer to you today. That much.