I was shuffling around my house tonight, arguing to myself and ranting.
The extremely condensed version of my arguments, reflections, and rants...extremely condensed...(I could probably write a page or two on textbooks alone...the entire thing would be a short novella on society, my fallible, doomed plans of counter-action, and my pro-active responses. Nope. Won't write it either.):
Politics are absurd. The entire current education system is a corrupted, useless waste of time. Textbooks are biased, inaccurate, falsified propaganda (no, I am not bitter about the situations I�ve gone through gaining them, this is an old conviction.). Consumerism ruins everything. Humanity and society are crashing into the ground, and they are far beyond the slight hint of a hope of reforming or saving.
So what�s the use? What�s the use of caring, when the whole cannot be saved? I don�t care, I am a jaded, bitter idealist, who knows that her own desires of worldwide enlightenment could never be reached, and even if they could be, they would never last. It is not in the nature of mankind to be rational, just, kind, virtuous, moralistic, and truthful by default. It cannot be maintained.
But a thought struck me. And revelation which I should have known all along, but somehow missed.
Humanity may be going down in flames, but the individual can still be saved.
No. It won�t be like the stories. It won�t be like the movies. It won�t be like tv. The saving of a few individuals will not lead to a domino effect which shakes the whole world wide awake. Society will ruin itself completely, and it will be beyond resurrection. It always has been. Virtue is not going to win this fight against evil.
But, does that mean, the individuals are worth letting go? The ship is going down, and most of the passengers and crew are doomed along with it, but some can be saved�why denounce the few who could be spared to death?
Why not?
We need every scrap of light, beauty and virtue left in this world. We save a few from shipwreck, only to let them drown in the ocean. But� they are still the beacons� they are a symbol of hope which could never be reached�the roses among the thistles in the slums� The tiny reminders� without any light of any kind, we are so dark�too dark� Beauty�even futile, true beauty which seems to do so little, can still mean so much�can still be worth so much�
Fragile�no superman strength�no miraculous goddess� touch�nothing to rescue the ship� helpless� but without it, the perishing would be that much more painful�that much worse� that much more meaningless and ugly�
You can�t question everything. Some things just are.
I am not considering this in the light of eternity. Sometimes, when conveying these things to others, I try to distance myself from any religious affiliation as much as possible. Because this is so true and vital, even outside of religion. This is the truth, this is necessity. I used to think that outside of religion, morality and truth could never be tolerated. But that is so far from being so. A fiercely anti-religious atheist has the full ability to maintain and embrace the exact same view and truth as I do. Because truth is outside any bounds of religion. God is outside the bounds of religion. God created and formed the truth, you may not accept that, but the truth still is. The truth is an all permeating foundation. You can�t make a new one. I dare you to though. Try it. Try to make an entirely new system of truth which is completely unconnected to the one already in place.
It�s impossible. I promise. It�s never been done before, and it never will be. It can�t be done. A man could just as easily form an entirely new, unthought-of, perfect living creation of the dust.
So the truth is. You can�t fight it. You acknowledge some truths. Whether you like it or not. And you cannot be freed from them (it will free you).
Even further, God spurred these truths into being. He created them. He dictated them. You don�t have to believe that, but it�s still true. Even if a person won�t acknowledge it. It�s another truth. You can�t destroy it by thinking it�s not there. It�s as absurd as a child shutting their eyes and screaming that nothing exists anymore because they can�t see it.
I'm very insecure. About how I sound...heh...