I can't sleep.
I'm not even tired.
The days are so long. I try to sleep in so late, I try to lag in the shower but...it's all to no avail.
The days are interminable with nothing to do...no one to talk to. Maybe that's partly my fault. Ok no, it's all my fault. That I haven't spoken to anyone for days again. A comment or a quick explanatory email now and then, but not much else.
I'm not going to complain though, and I'm not trying to clamour for attention, because I'm doing it on purpose. I make sure that I'm never around, or too busy (or at least pretending to be). I am morphing back into a hermit. I hardly ever pop my head out of my hole to speak to anyone. I don't interact, I don't bother... It just feels useless these days... I'm slowly making sure to place everyone several arm lengths away from me. I'm trying to close everyone away. I've done an excellent job of it. I only have two people around right now close still. Or maybe only one.
I just don't care...
It's all going down the drain.
Back on the subject of boredom though.
I guess I have paints to occupy me...But...Somehow, I'm only half dressed again (yes again...I'm a little...urm...absent minded lately...and I'm missing a sock...strangely enough) and it's so early in the morning, that it's really to no avail to paint now. I forgot to get origami paper at the craft store while we were out today so I can't do that. Yet. We have to go back and purchase a cross stitch birth announcement kit for me to do for someone which should have been done about three years ago. Besides lending me another occupation, I will also have a chance to grab the origami paper too. If I can find any.
What about my books? H.G. Wells is creeping me out. I don't know... At night... his books just seem so...scary. So ominous and shivery and dark in a bad way. I don't like it. They have a strange quality. I've found that quality in books before. The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan and The First King of Shannara by Terry Brooks come to mind. Those books have an aftertaste which disagrees with me.
There is something wrong with them. I don't know what though. I just know that I don't like it, and it pushes me close to nightmarish stages.
I feel like such a baby to admit that.
Drag and lag.
I wish there were stars outside for me to watch. I hate the smog out here. It's awful.
I guess I'll just lay on the floor in the dark again with some music.
Oh! Epiphany moment! At least I'll have school work to do today! Hooray! A solid occupation!