2005-04-13
Faceless Crowds (bs)

It's kinda funny how you can talk to someone once, maybe even twice a week but never know their name.

Well not funny, and it certainly shouldn't be superficially odd, but it can have a strange effect on one's sense of being.

We're all the center of our own little worlds. The most important thing is ourselves. We can shift the focus, sure, but you're always going to be sort of, very important to yourself. You are you. I am me.

But what about when you brush your little universe with someone else's? And what about when they don't even know that most fundamental label of your self, your name. Names can be such strangely important things. Names, nicknames, screen names... If you ask someone who they are, a lot of people will just give you their name.

So when someone else comes within that much proximity of you, to communicate with you regularly, but they don't even know your name...there is no identity.

They have none. You have none. They're just a bundle of generic personality.

Face to face communication becomes faceless.

I, I, I have no face. In this world. In this world.

She'll sip her coffee and stare over the brim at you. Roll a trite, but sweet sentiment off her tongue. Smile and stare at you with her unlovely too large eyes.She doesn't care.

And the girl and her friends who got up and left... they don't care either. They only invite you along to be polite. You don't mean a thing to them. They don't even like you.

And that girl. The tiny, intensely shy, beautiful girl with the short curly brown hair and huge blue eyes and coral lips... she doesn't even know you exist. Just a moment, just a moment today you almost had her and her honest gaze and her gorgeous pearly smile with you for a full hour and more. But you lost the chance and it will never come again. She'll fade away in less than a month. You'll never know her. And of course, she doesn't care at all. (I wish I couldn't either.)

before & & after