I had myself under control. Honestly I did. I was together and focused and had myself at a point where I could actually sit down and read Middlemarch.
Then, I finally understood, full force, what an emotional rubber band was. Because mine got twanged. And I didn't do it to myself.
One moment I was calm, feeling a tad disappointed, unhappy, restless, downcast, and I felt I had a long tedious day ahead of me. And then, just a few words, one in particular, and I was recalled to everything I felt another day... I was recalled to everything I had been repressing. All I had under control and well calmed down, came shooting out of me and ripped through my senses uncontrollably.
I staggered. And then I blinked my way around to do laundry and other mediocre tasks. But inside, I was swirling, whirling, twisting, turning, and looping through the air. Reaching up to dizzying heights and expanses of emotion heretofore untouched.
I have stood in one place several times this morning, simply reeling. Sheer...joy. My eyes would start...I am not sure. But they were swimming, and the world was trying to fling me off it's surface again.
I stood firm though. I am still here.
But oh gosh. I know I won't be able to concentrate on Middlemarch again. Or anything for that matter.
But really, can I honestly say that I don't like to be flung for rides like this? No. No I can't. Because I enjoy them. Immensely.
Still frightened, oh quite frightened, and very timid and unsure, but I think I like it.
twirls off to finish her morning toilet*
*