2004-08-08
Double Arcs Etched For The Admiring

hearing: See You Space Cowboys from the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack (this popped up on my playlist and now I remember how much I miss watching this show...)
reading: Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
wearing: dark blue and light blue striped johnny collar neck shirt with 3/4 sleeves, jean mini skirt, slightly unkempt hair

I've got a rainbow...rainbow in my hand...

The lines of the song move me to remember the love letter my darling storm etched in the sky for me. My heart, delirious with the strange insanity which causes a little girl to take such a strong fancy to freak weather, leapt up inside of me. I sighted the gorgeous rendering. A double arc of brilliantly blended colors. An unbroken prismatic display merging into the depths of the friendly clouds emptied of their moisture.

With the little presence of mind I have had left lately, I did my best to immortalise this fingerprint of the rain broadcast to the world, which I purposely limned as a love letter or an homage directed towards myself.









Hark unto the beauty.

When I peered into the sky and took in that breathtaking expanse of pillowy heavens, my soul shuddered violently. Even just gazing at the pictures causes a spasm to run through me as though I would sprout wings to fly. And then I would flutter to live on a cloud. It is my burning desire. To spend my days unto death as a creature of the sky, an inhabitant of a cloud.

I would live alone. And when a surge of loneliness and desire for human contact would rage upon me, I should only have to summon the wind, and whisper it whither I wanted to go. Then could I fly companions with me to my gossamer home and spend a day or two showing them the bliss which was my dwelling.

But I can't stay long... I will never stay in one place long...and I would prefer not to bring anyone with me...

What a nonsensical dreamer I am reverting back to. My nature always shifting under the surface.

Even our daily evening walks through my humble, ugly, densely populated island of suburbia are painted with the strange glow of my dreamy qualities.

I can see the sky, and when the clouds are gathered, I can feel them tremble, I can hear the earth, and all is a harmonious calling of the faerie-like glow of ancient, nature, tamed and restrained to uncomely domestic purposes. It sings still. With a note of grief for what it once was, and can never now be, but with a high treble of hope and joy for the new heavens and earth forthcoming which will far surpass it's deteriorated state of temporal wretchedness.

Sometimes, I wonder if I haven't become a sort of tree hugger/enviromentalist, but with an apathetic hopelessness instead of an ardent, fiery passion to rescue the earth. My dreary mindset would murmur that it can't be saved. It couldn't be restored to it's former glory but...

Bah. Enviromentalism is too political for me. Too politically correct.

This discussion has taken a turn I am uncomfortable with. I might debate it within, but I would rather not yet tread these paths before the observing eyes of the world.

I'm just an absurd, incoherent dreamer taken to impassive flights of fancy and fantasy. Let me crawl back to my strange, warped, and wide inner world oped only to me.

Postscript Today marks a new layout, and for those who have been following me a long time, it marks the disappearance of several heretofore irremovable elements of my diary.

  1. Imood is gone I was getting sick of it. I hated changing it. It's gone for good and don't ask for it to ever be reincarnated or to be replaced with a similar mood indicator. I have gathered numerous reasons for despising them. I will never have a mood indicator again.
  2. Last 5 entries I was very reluctant to give this up, but I could not fit it into this design, and I was not going to sacrifice this design to the trash heap simply because I could not fit in a list of last five entries. I don't think it's that crucial to have. If anyone found it helpful and now mourns its loss, please contact me and I can find a way to fit it in. Although I may take up a notify list to substitute.
  3. Hit Counter It was gaudy and clunky. It's not gone now, because I love it to death. It's hidden. You can't see how many hits I get, but I know, and that's what's important
  4. Online User Counter Clunky and annoying again. I loved having it, but decided that it wasn't worth keeping.


Thus goes my slightly informative spiel, my faithful readers.

before & & after