2004-05-17
How To Break The Bottles?

hearing: Green Bird from the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack
reading: Othello by Shakespear and Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
wearing: clothing

There is so much going on inside that I need to get out. That I need to talk through. But it hit me today, that I honestly don't know how to break free from my self built prison. I don't know how to do anything but bottle up every feeling I have, and lock them away. I can tell you the story of the bottle, I can explain every nick and scratch on the outside, but I don't know how to open the bottle. I don't know how to pour out everything inside.

I am too used to hiding. I am used to drawing back and away to cry on my pillow by myself in the dark. I wish I could find the key. Because I know I need to get this out. The mounting pressure is too stressful. But I can't...

I can't...

I have a splitting headache again....

before & & after