My life is boring. Boring as hell. And I imagine that hell must be pretty boring. Because I think if it were exciting, it wouldn't be hell.
I bet hell is absolutely nothing. It would drive a person insane. It would be awful. Boredom and nothingness for eternity.
I think all the chemicals in the hair dye are working their way into my brain, where they are killing all my neurons. For I seem to be getting duller and dumber with each passing day.