I browse around message boards, and laugh and shake my head at all the idiots out there in the world. All their ridiculous mistakes, and I throw my head back with a certain haughtiness, knowing that I never make such petty mistakes.
And I've just shot myself in the foot with that statement.
I stop laughing as though a clap of thunder sounded over my head and stare down at my poor injured foot. Then I hide under my bed because I know I am just as big an idiot as those I condemn.
Lately, every time I turn around, I seem to be commiting another act of empty headed, blonde idiocy. I am having a week of Jessica Simpson a la "chicken of the sea" moments (I still can't believe that someone could be that dumb). And it's really humbling. I think.
I have mistaken the dates of several things, multiple times now, and I have been telling other people about these events and giving them my mistaken dates, and they are none the wiser.
I have also managed to break the pump on a bottle of my favorite lotion because I couldn't figure out how to get it open, had an extremely hard time getting shelves back in the refrigerator, totally misunderstood several metaphors people have given me (and I still don't get them), and connected some things wrong.
How? Or rather, why? Why am I such a clutz lately? I am absolutely terrified of trying to install Movable Type to the server I am using for my website, because I just know that I am going to install the whole thing wrong and blow up the world. I just know it.
So watch out America. Watch out world. Look into the face of terror. [insert photo of megan smiling obliviously into a camera which she is holding off kilter] This is she whom is going to accidently destroy the entire world with a single blunder, by virtue of hair color.