I seem an abominable paradox, but don't think I am unfeeling. My fear for now, for their future, for my future, is strung and played and touched by their cold, angry exteriors. But it isn't consuming. It's a division inside me, much as their division outside.
I shake with fear and unhappiness on one side, but I tremble with joy and hope on the other side. In the past, I'd give up and let the fear win. Now is when I'd say it'll never work, nothing ever does, let's all fall apart. But I'm not that little fearful pessimist anymore. My optimistic side wins (and I'd like to credit that strength to your influence, dear). Albeit a very practical optimism, but that's really the best kind.
I've become so rash and reckless...nothing ventured, nothing gained... enjoy what I have now while it's close and mine. Don't waste it in any fears of the future. And when hard things do come I'll gather up and laugh in it's face because I was expecting it. I was waiting for the hard times to try and knock me down but as I quietly murmer a quavering hymn, the troubles will see where my Mooring really has been... Firm. Strong. Steady. Constant.
Rock.