I feel so bitter. So stingingly, bitingly bitter. I feel so sarcastic. Almost mean.
Blame it on the weather. Blame it on the non existance of my spring wardrobe. Or blame it on mushy, sappy, romanticism. I find the latter most probable. But that is because I know what is going through my head, and you don't.
The slightest mention of romance around me and I will bitch slap you in a nano second. That is not a threat, that is a promise. I swear. Even if you so much as play or mention a love song (the particularly "pretty", sappy ones), I will beat you up.
Haha. I think I need some help. Sense and reason don't work. I have tried those. Bad relationship once and I never forgave him. What, running on three years now? Nigh four I think. If I could finally forgive him, ever, would that be a step in solving the problem? I think so. Yet I don't know how to forgive him. I am not even sure if I want to.
*closes eyes and replays scenario*
No. No I do not want to forgive him. That stung. Badly. It hurt. Muchly. And after that, I was so jaded with relationships. I hated boys. Well in that manner. Why past tense? I still do. I can't stand 'em. Won't trust a one.
What a mess.
This time of year makes me sick. No, the atmosphere makes me sick. The moods and attitudes of the people. Just like Valentine's Day. I will vomit bitterness and sarcasm everywhere.
How immature. I know. But I can't help it.
I need to go kick something now.
Or better yet, see if I can seriously mangle or "kill" any inanimate objects.
NOTE: This entry is not spurred by anyone or anything they have said lately. This is simply something that has been trying to surface again for about a month, or two. I have, in fact, been considering writing an entry along these lines for about two weeks. Then today, everything finally decided to come to a head. Whether any situations of late helped it, I won't say, but I think its always a possibility.