*says in a singsong tone of voice* I have been through last night befooorre.
I keep struggling with not liking the girl I was created to be. The face I was given, the height I was given, the tendencies I was given...
Well the truth is, someone who knows a whole lot more about all this stuff made me and gave me this life.
It was God.
How could I presume to say that I am physically imperfect in bad ways? How could I presume to say I was made wrong? How? Where do I come off thinking that?
God has a reason, He has a plan and He knows what He does when He makes a person. Thinking that I was made imperfectly and should have been made different and prettier, it just seems absurd. God doesn't make bad things. To His eyes. Maybe to society's eyes they look bad. Maybe to other, shallow people they look bad. But where it really counts, you just can't be bad. You could be butt ugly, but really, God made you that way, so you just have to learn to be reconciled to it. (Ha I sound so helpful. I am just sorting things out for myself right now, not a solution of thinking for the rest of the world.)
I knew all this before, the last time. And it was the same situation, except I was dealing with personality traits, not physical appearence. I should have thought to apply principles elsewhere though. As am I only human though, I seem to forget these things. I need a hammer to bang all this back into my head, and then some really really strong duct tape or something to hold it all in. I could spare myself so much pressure and unhappiness if I could just keep it in my brain and quit dropping it on the floor.