I feel rather wild and untamed this morning. My clothing, or lack of it, isn't influencing the feelings, but rather my feelings are influencing the clothing. Woo. I need to go run screaming and giggling through meadows of tall grass. Lots of wind too. That would be divine.
Hey its almost one now and I haven't eaten breakfast. Woo...ha... I got up really late though this morning... 11:40am. I got to bed at three but then I had bizarre dreams. Very bizarre. Something about the Academy Awards and being nominated for something. But I was told the day of the awards. Thus I didn't have anything to wear but a dress I bought for a New Years Eve party 2 years ago. It is the only fancy dress I own. I had that on with a pink sweatshirt over it because I had to go to school first (I don't even go to school man...I am homeschooled). On further reflection though, I realized that I couldn't wear the dress to school. I needed to change. So I changed clothes once and was about ready to go when I realized that I hated what I was wearing. An old shirt that was wide and short and had been light blue once but then was accidently bleached, with a cheap short sleeved denim shirt over it and a pair of jeans. Disgusting. So I was contemplating what else I had. I was thinking about changing into a teal super low v neck sleeveless shirt with a pair of jeans, my courderoy jacket and my tan heels. Then I woke up.
Other events of that dream included an art class with a certain online friend. He sat in front of me. I think we were swapping pencils. And talking while the teacher was. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was there. I kept thinking what a ridiculously long commute that would be. This was a high school art class anyway and that puzzeled me more. He was way older than the rest of us. Why would he drive 12 hours to be in a high school art class? That was seriously what I was thinking in the dream. Ugh. I was so confused...Confusing dream. That whole academy award thing. Don't understand that. What in the world was I nominated for? Oi...
Yesterday was all dolling so there is nothing to impart. And only a select few get to see dolls before they are finished. My diary is not one of them.
Last night, I did get myself somewhere with a few of the issues I have been struggling with. I really don't feel comfortable talking about anything yet. But it was rewarding. I wanted to get these things straightened out during my messenger fast and I am on the road to. Yay! I will come back even more stable and sensible and level headed than I was before! Woo! Less drama!
Although I find a very important and pivotal point to this whole thing is to take the time to set myself aside more. That is one thing I am not doing yet. Sitting here now typing this, I am placing my needs first. I could very well be upstairs taking care of things and wait to write an entry until late tonight. Then I might feel less guilty because it would be the proper time to fulfill my needs. There would be on one else up to tend to or help out. Being as it is, I am being quite selfish. I have gotten this far though, might as well finish this entry.
Letting my muse take control so much is also very much setting my needs first. I do try to take breaks to tidy up the kitchen or make lunches or such and just plain be helpful. But I tend to be far more concerned with what I am dolling. I should start remedying this but my muse might kill me. We shall see what I can do.
I also still have about 6 emails to answer. They pile. And people try to insist that it is ok if I don't write and that may very well be the truth, but I feel like I can still set myself aside long enough to come and shower them all with nice, long emails. I don't seem to listen to people very well. If you are encroaching on my rights to delivering niceties and telling me I don't have to deliver them, I certainly won't listen. I don't care if you could do without. You really don't have to. I can still deliver. Thus I shall. I shall try my hardest.