I was unable to write yesterday at the regular time due to diaryland errors, and then I was too busy the rest of the day to write. I apologize.
I got my hair cut and colored. I like it! A lot. Nothing else much to say about that.
I am also working on a secret, time consuming project.
Still having trouble sleeping and wanting to sleep. Thinking about it now...uugh... I don't want to go sleep. I don't know what I would do instead though... *sigh* At least my appetite returned.
I don't really have much else to say. I haven't done much besides my secret project and it consumes my thoughts, so I have not thought of much else either. I feel as though my heart is beginning to weigh heavier again. I don't like it. If depression does creep back up on me.... *sigh* I really don't want it to, but whatever has been disturbing my sleep seems to have finally caught up with my consious self. And I am still not quite sure what it is. I thought it might be my unsolved problems but they seem to be only the icing on the cake. If not them, then what bothers me? What brings me down so? If I knew what it was, I could fight it... I could stay in peace and joy but as long as it hides, there is nothing I can do. I have no problem to attack. Only something dimly felt and perceived...
I don't like this one bit. Now I feel like I need to go cry, not sob, just cry, but I haven't the faintest idea why. It doesn't make sense! Argh. I am going to go. Who knows what I shall do. I don't want to sleep. Find something else to do. I will try not to stay up all night.
EDIT: I just thought of something weird that happened today. I was sitting doing some stuff on my computer, and I had my headphones plugged into my speakers and was wearing them. I had just finished listening to a song. Uhm...I forgot what song it was. I think it might have been Lovesick from The Violet Burning. But the song was finished, it had been finished for about 30 seconds, and my real one player (the only media application I had open) said that the song was done and nothing was playing. All of a sudden, I heard a guitar. I double checked real one and it still wasn't playing anything. It stopped. I settled back and continued what I was doing, when I heard the guitar again. I almost jumped out of my skin. My brother was playing a Pearl Harbor computer game which was noisy and musicless, whilst my sister was playing School Tycoon and there were no guitars playing on that either. The tv wasn't on, my stereo wasn't on, and I had no webpages open beside The Violet Burning's website and a doll site. I have no reasonable explanation for what I heard then. But nonetheless, I heard a guitar playing a lovely melody. I don't have the faintest idea what melody the guitar was playing, but I think if I heard it again, I would recognize it. It was also an electric guitar. Definitely. And it sounded so clear. Much clearer and much crisper sound quality than my headphones give. As if the guitar was being played right next me... even inside me. It was truely bizarre. I wish I could hear that song again though. I wish I had an explanation.