Cousins left yesterday! I will miss them, but it is such a burden lifted to have them gone. I am so thankful. So thankful. Chaos levels will be lessened. Yet I suppose with so many people and 3 pets, there is never a dull moment and rarely is there a moment bereft of at least a sliver of chaos in this house...
I woke up five minutes ago! Urgh. That's because I got to bed at 2 last night. I was all set and ready to get to bed by 12:15, then I got online to write an entry but uhh...I really couldn't think of what to write so I abandoned the entry and fixed my poetry page instead. It is, I think, much easier to navigate now. I am also thinking about either deleting my quotes page, or fixing it up. I think it is in a pretty jumbled state too.
And why am I telling all of you this?
Because I am at a loss for words again. And not in a good way. I had a little overflowing punch of joy, peace and thoughtfulness yesterday after I read the story of Cosmo in Phantastes, but it dissipated like a snowflake on cement on an unusually warm winter day. 'Tisn't fair... I am boring my own self for heaven's sake. I find myself so vastly uninteresting lately that it makes me sick. And I really do not know what to do about it... I really do not know.
Yesterday I was talking with someone and we got on some subjects that led to him remarking how different we are, yet how similar our spirtual states are and how ironic he found that. Well, it never ceases to be ironic to me either. Yet time and time again I am presented with many others who feel as I do or are very much alike to me in character and ability. People will attract those like them of course, but I am still always struck with the irony. People tend to have the mindset of being totally unique and individual. Being the only one resonates within us all, when in truth, we aren't really ever the only one.
"What has been will be again,what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun."
Ecclesiastes 1:9
It is just something to think about... we like to be surprised when we find another like us... we will draw people to us whom are like us though, so it should not be all that surprising. Even if the likeness is not in personality or character but in spirtual states...
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? thought I was the only one.'"
C.S.Lewis
I really do not know what the point of speaking about all that was. Ha. Perhaps I do think too much...
Yesterday was so glorious...my joy had been pushed to a euphoria... I was listening to some pretty, quiet songs, and tears were literally welling up in my eyes. I was moving in slow motion. Everything was adjusted right. I must have been awake... but to be lulled back to sleep so quickly... no, do not mourn the loss of feelings and they are not truely there when one forces them to come back. You cannot force emotions. Let them come and go as they will. Which is why faith and a solid ground to stand on are so important. The whirlwind is astounding. At least one thing will stay constant in the midst...