2003-12-16
I don't know
I abandoned all of you again didn't I? I should have written about so much but I didn't...And I suppose I still should write....but I just don't have the heart to...nothing to write about...bizarre dreams, parents fighting, me having emotional difficulties...I just don't know anything anymore...I am tired of burdening people...no, I won't kill myself...never that...and you may insist I am not a burden until I choose to spill out my feelings...always a mess...always a mess...I am slowly making the decision to withdraw my feelings again...turning away from being so willing to talk about it...closing the book...no one cares for it much...of course they don't...but then again...I don't know...I am such a mess...shut me away from people til I can think straight again and control myself...but then again as soon as I can and as soon as I am among people, I lose control...it evaporates so easily...I don't know....I don't know...I am tired...so tired...cry...sleep...too early...why should it matter...shut up...shut up...no one cares...no one cares...it doesn't matter...it doesn't matter...