Sitting and crying about all my failures and fallings and flaws all the time is never going to get me anywhere.... I can be more than that...I am not perfect and won't ever be and don't have to be and am not expected to be in this life...God can take my hand and lead me along and transform me from what I am naturally into so much more if I let Him...give up all my flaws and burdens and failures...I keep coming to this conclusion and forgetting it and getting lost in my vicious cycles of flaws and emotions and crying and running back to stumble upon this epiphany again...why can't I remember it? This could become another cycle of hatred of myself that I seem to continue to forget this but I will stop it here...I can...I choose to...I am more than that...So much more....I choose to be so...may He transform me....I want it...My will will bend and break and conform to His again...one of these times I will bar it from breaking...I will....