Music: None...Imagine that
Well, yesterday, I had some more alone time, and I have been praying and praising and writing and such and I am right with God again. It is extremely comforting and pleasant. I am "More than Fine".
Yesterday, I finished At The Back of The North Wind by George MacDonald. Sometimes I feel like Nanny... I wish I was more like Diamond. The book left me with a lot of thoughts...here is one of them:
Reading through the trials and tribulations Diamond's family went through makes me think a lot. I always sit and scold the mother for worrying, and frown on the father for his opinions of Mr. Raymond and all his grumbling and worrying. I want to tell them to just calm down...not to worry. Everything will turn out right...But then I stop. I think about how hypocritical that is. If someone were to write a book about everything in my life and what I thought in the midst of the situation, and then how things turned out, wouldn't avid readers be scolding and frowing at me for my behaviors and thought patterns? God always provides, and He always will...things can get pretty desperate, but never to a point I couldn't bear...I may think I wouldn't be able to, but I always would be able to. I don't want to waste my time worryin about things that turn out alright. So I have been holding this verse very close of late...and I will try to continue to...
"22 Then He said to His disciples, "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. 23Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. 24Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? 25And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? 26If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest? 27Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith?
29"And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. 30For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. 31But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you.
32"Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. 33Sell what you have and give alms; provide yourselves money bags which do not grow old, a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches nor moth destroys. 34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Luke 12:22-34 NKJV
I have resolved to try my hardest to follow this verse wholeheartedly...I will mess up, but attitude is everything and it is never worth it to worry about things. Sounds easy nough to do now...but wait until I am faced with a situation...we shall see what I shall do...with God's strength to help me, may I not worry.
One thing I am going to try first, is not to worry about clothing. I am running very low and we cannot afford to buy me any more. My brother is worse though...he only has one pair of long pants. I have 4 pairs of jeans, 2 long skirts, and 1 pair of black pants. AND a pair of pinstripe pants (which are being fixed). I am much better off than he is. Yet I still worry. Especially when the zipper on my blue velour jacket broke...worried about not having enough long sleeves...and I just got a new shirt!!! And my bday is coming up!!! *sigh* I am just impossible. I am challenging myself not to worry about my clothes and how fashionable I look. I can always look at least presentable and that should be plenty. I am also considering giving up all makeup except for my foundation...it has spf, gotta protect the skin...Not permenantly...just temporarily to try and strengthen my confidence in myself. I think I depend upon my little makeup, a little too much...
Well that was a lot...I am starting the Screwtape Letters now. Should prompt plenty of reflections. I shall try to have more like today's...I like The Screwtape Letters. This will be my second time reading it...superb book by a superb author...the blows against him at corruptchristianmusic were so absurd...makes me angry...*sigh* Oh well...some people...
Well, I don't know why I am posting this, but here are some "random poetic babblings" I wrote one day. Some I plan to turn into poetry, maybe...others...well... sometimes I worry about myself...
The train pulled out of the station taking my rainbow mittens with it and now I am without a partner for the upcoming convention of Nonsensical theories of the sizing of bed sheets most especially double and queens. So I have just been baffled and spastic about the moon... sometimes Life is just unlike what though...
Well, I suppose I must conjure up someone to bring with me. Perhaps the orange pen from within the deep reaches of the window curtains. Surely he would accompany me. Unlike the general population, he respects the meditations on the throwing of television sets. Alas shall the sun ever burst upon the uneducated amphibians of the mists?
Whenever shall the rainbow end... I am down and out of time... shall the centaurs rescue me from the marshes of misery...and then might i fly to the star and read sonnets beside a stream of moon beams...shibby...*sigh*
The icy cold light of glimmering candles washes across my tear stained face and caresses my rain wet hair...oh cruel light why be thee so cold...why cannot thee warm the depths of my cold despairing height...what shall thee do but fuel the fires of madness within my heart...those which freeze the inner depths to the point of withdrawal from the streets of my life...
Shall I scream for something of truth...or shall I scream to be saved from the loathings of life so uncommonly common within my prideful monster of a soul...are not they the same...so has too much truth brought me to the point where i stand on the edge of a knife...where now are my strings of life...where now are the lines of love which saved me from so many a tragic death...shall they save my soul from the death of love...from the death of hope and faith...can they....should they...
I really don't belong in a mental institution...despite what that may have sounded like...I promise...I really don't... ;) lol...
Well, that is all for today I suppose. Now it is time for a quote eh? I am sure I can find something...*heehee*
Here is what I decided on...3 actually something funny, something not, and something both...
"The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I belive, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them. He would therefore have them continually concerned either with eternity (which means being concerned with Him) of with the Present- either meditating on their eternal union with, or seperation from Himself, or else obeying the present voice of consience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure." The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (that was Screwtape, a demon, and Enemy to him means God)
she's so pretty but she but doesn't always act that way
her mood's out swinging on the swing set almost every day
she said to me that she's so happy it's depressing
and all i said was "someone get that girl a mood ring"
Relient K, Mood Ring (love that song...sometimes I fear i am that way...my mood's out swinging on the swing set...lol...;) )
"Never having been human, (Oh, that abominable advantage of the Enemy's!)" The Screwtape Letters again...I love that...
Out Like A Light
*Brr...ZAP*
Miss Megan